Ailing auto company General Motors has teamed up with personal transport device manufacturer Segway to create the PUMA, a two-person electrical vehicle that can travel up to 35 miles on a single charge. Here are some of the features of this innovative new device:


Horn plays MIDI version of "La Cucaracha"

Combines with six other PUMAs to form powerful urban assault vehicle

A single windshield wiper, mostly for laughs

Revolutionary new internal generator converts the force of impact from SUVs into energy


Attachable plow collects recyclables from side of highway

Seats two people in the cab, plus one more running alongside

Runs on 450 rechargeable AA batteries

Fully electric engine makes Prius-drivers feel like complete and utter shit