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New Google Privacy Settings Allows Users To Choose If Sundar Pichai Can Sleep Under Bed

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PALO ALTO, CA—In a highly anticipated update designed to help control how data is collected, a new option on Google’s privacy settings released Tuesday allowed users to choose if Sundar Pichai can sleep under their bed. “Starting today, Google will allow everyone on its platform to either opt in or out of the option for CEO Sundar Pichai to go into their bedroom, crawl under their bed frame, and sleep on their floor for several hours,” said Alphabet spokesperson Jenna Handler, adding that once users deselect the option, the tech mogul would immediately wake up, shimmy out, and then go to an approved user’s bedroom. “While the Sundar setting was originally defaulted to ‘on,’ we heard that users didn’t always feel comfortable going to bed while a pajama-clad man audibly snored, tossed, and turned beneath their mattress. However, keep in mind, your Google experience will always be improved if Sundar can sleep at least 8 hours under your bed. We highly recommend allowing it.” At press time, Google was under fire after failing to remove the default setting that allowed Pichai to accidentally walk in on users while they were using the bathroom.