New Healthier Pigs

Scientists have cloned pigs that are engineered to contain omega-3 fatty acids, which produce healthier pork. What do you think?

"Can't they put some of that omega stuff in cigarettes?"

Mary Keller • Librarian


"I don't eats 'em, I just rassles 'em."

Chet Bannister • Pig Wrestler

"I'll only be interested when they finally make pig-human hybrids. I could marry one and say, 'Woman! Make me some bacon!' Then she'd dutifully harvest my succulent breakfast."

Benjamin Klein • Music Critic