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New Roomba Blender Makes Smoothie Out Of Everything In Its Path

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BEDFORD, MA—In an exciting extension of their product line, the creators of the Roomba-brand self-directed vacuum cleaner have introduced the Yumba, a new household blender capable of mixing a rich, frothy smoothie out of whatever ingredients it sucks up from your floor. “With the Yumba, you can make a banana, floor sweepings, and wheat germ shake; a strawberry-mango-cigarette-butt frappé; or, for a light lunch, a zesty toenail-clipping-cat-hair-dead-skin-and-pineapple smoothie,” product developer Peter Olsen said Monday, demonstrating the new device on a carpet covered in sawdust, garden vegetables, and detritus. “Mmm, you can taste the cobwebs.” When asked if the Yumba could make smoothies out of pennies and melon, Haskins said that it could.