Each year, Americans celebrate New Year’s Eve by resolving to change some aspect of their lives. What is your New Year’s resolution?

“I’m an atheist, sorry.”

Veronica Blankenship • Deflation Predictor

“I’m finally going to go to the gym and throw up in the bathroom after running for 10 minutes!”

Ira Gale • Tantric Architect

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“This is gonna be the year I get more free stuff.”

Ryan Appleton • Systems Analyst