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New York City Reinstates Full Lockdown After Disturbing Reports That Knicks May Resume Play

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NEW YORK—Announcing that only drastic measures could defend the populace against the emerging threat, New York City reinstated a full lockdown Wednesday after disturbing reports that the Knicks may resume play. “For the sake of all New Yorkers, we absolutely cannot allow another outbreak of Derrick Rose and Nerlens Noel,” said New York City health commissioner Dr. Dave A. Choksi, strongly recommending that residents remain in their homes except for essential errands and to under no circumstances go within 1,000 feet of Madison Square Garden. “This is a pressing health emergency, as bad as anything we’ve seen. Until the dangers of Tom Thibodeau and his roster are safely contained, we need the city to be completely locked down. Everyone must take extra precautions to avoid being exposed to this team. That includes not wearing players’ jerseys, not turning on their games, and not doing anything else that would encourage the spread of the Knicks. We hope to have a way to combat them effectively soon.” The city’s actions is reportedly one of the most stringent measures taken by a city since the indefinite lockdown enforced by Jacksonville to contain the ongoing multi-year outbreak of the Jaguars.