NEW YORK—Although Isiah Thomas' accidental sleeping pill overdose came as welcome news to Knicks fan Brian Hart, the embarrassing chapter in the ex-coach's life didn't quite spark the sense of elation Hart would have expected. I guess when it comes to Isiah Thomas, my expectations are so high that nothing can actually meet them, ya know?" said Hart, who has been fantasizing about exotic and fatal harm befalling Thomas for the past four years. "Sure, his pathetic attempt to shift the blame onto his daughter was pretty classic. Even I never imagined he'd do something like that. But the whole overdose thing kind of left me cold. I mean, a bus accident, some kind of electrocution, jumping off a bridge—that would be something. But an overdose is like, 'Yes, this makes sense, now let's move on.'" Hart expressed confidence that Thomas would eventually meet with a satisfying end, but has currently turned his attention to hoping Stephon Marbury contracts smallpox.
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