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NFL Week One Winners And Losers

Illustration for article titled NFL Week One Winners And Losers

Onion Sports presents its winners and losers from the opening week of the 2015 NFL season:

Winners

  • Tony Romo: Held tighter and for several moments longer than usual during postgame hug with Jerry Jones
  • New England Patriots: Operation Pyerun proceeding as planned
  • Peyton Manning’s Arm: Quietly enjoying second year of retirement

Losers

  • Houston Texans: Offense committed crucial mistake early in the game when they started Brian Hoyer
  • Ndamukong Suh: Had worst statistical performance of his career with just one stomped player
  • Terrell Suggs: Torn Achilles means career will surprisingly end from something other than criminal investigation
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