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Nobel Committee Awards Self Peace Prize For Once

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‘Sometimes You Just Need To Treat Yourself,’ Sources Say

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OSLO, NORWAY—Saying there was nothing wrong with treating yourself for a change, the Norwegian Nobel Committee announced Friday that it was awarding the 2017 Nobel Peace Prize to itself for once. “After a century of bestowing the award to those who work tirelessly on behalf of world peace, we just thought, ‘What about us?’” said chairman Berit Reiss-Andersen, adding that the five-member committee deserved the world’s most prestigious humanitarian award after so many years of uncomplainingly recognizing other recipients and that the Peace Prize would be just the perfect little indulgence. “We realized that all we do is give, and that’s not healthy. You can’t truly award others until you award yourself at least every now and then, so that’s what we’re doing this year.” Reiss-Anderson went on to say that the committee was planning on using the $1.5 million prize money to splurge on something nice that they normally wouldn’t dream of buying for themselves.

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