None Of Area Man's Friends Have Ever Seen Him With Shirt On

WHEELING, WV—Saying they don't know why it never occurred to them before, friends of local man Paul Helton told reporters Sunday that they have never once seen Helton with a shirt on. "I've seen him with a shirt thrown over his shoulder, and I've seen him with a shirt tied around his waist, but no, I guess I've never actually seen a shirt physically covering his torso," said Jeff Callahan, 36, adding that Helton probably wears a shirt to his job at the bank, though he admitted he's never actually seen Helton at work. "Wait, he must've worn a—nope. He didn't have a shirt on for that entire WVU football game last January, either." According to friends, Helton is also shirtless in all of his baby pictures.