North Korea Holds Quiet, Low-Key Nuclear Test Just For Self

Illustration for article titled North Korea Holds Quiet, Low-Key Nuclear Test Just For Self

PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA—Referring to the event as a simple, no-frills detonation among close friends, state officials confirmed Thursday the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea recently held a quiet, low-key nuclear test just for itself. “To be honest, it doesn’t really matter how the international community responds to our show of strength—this one was for us,” said a DPRK spokesperson, adding that observers of the test had been encouraged to “come and go as they pleased” but to be there at midnight if they wanted to experience the magnitude 5.5 earthquake from the underground blast. “This wasn’t to impress anyone. We had all these miniaturized nuclear warheads sitting around, so we threw a little something together. Nothing too big, just a 70-kiloton blast with some scientists and a few guys from the Central Committee of the Workers’ Party. It was all pretty casual.” At press time, the U.N. Security Council had issued a resolution condemning the nuclear test but acknowledging it had to be considered a success on its own terms.