FAIRFAX, VA—In a stern rebuke of the under-glorification of violence they claim is often presented to impressionable young video game players, the National Rifle Association issued a statement Thursday upbraiding video game creators for downplaying, understating, and on occasion blatantly mocking the exhilarating rush felt by firearms enthusiasts while watching the light leave an enemy’s eyes. “We cannot abide these companies’ heinous abdication of their responsibility to convey that exquisite, godlike euphoria which overcomes gun owners after blowing someone away with a semiautomatic rifle,” said NRA spokeswoman Dana Loesch, harshly reprimanding several prominent video game manufacturers including Ubisoft, Rockstar, and EA Games for their refusal to accurately depict the all-consuming torrent of potency arising from inflicting gunshot wounds. “It’s completely inexplicable, let alone inexcusable, that so many young American gamers are falsely led to believe that shooting another human is an ordinary, mundane act. By depriving players of their constitutionally guaranteed right to exult in the transfiguring power of watching a person’s soul torn from their body by a storm of lead, these game makers trivialize a crucial part of the firearm experience.” Loesch concluded the statement by urging video game companies to, at minimum, preface their games with a disclaimer informing potential consumers that gun deaths depicted during gameplay are far less awesome than those inflicted in real life.

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