FAIRFAX, VA—Saying the schematics were already available on numerous file-sharing sites across the web, the National Rifle Association announced Tuesday it had released online blueprints that, for the first time ever, will allow citizens to print 3D gun lobbyists in their own homes. “Anyone with internet access and one of these precision 3D printers can, within hours, create a high-powered pro-gun advocate that will be ready for immediate use on K Street,” said NRA spokesperson Dana Loesch, noting that the single-issue model, known as the Influencer, is capable of exerting the same force on lawmakers as a regular lobbyist, with the primary difference being that it won’t have to be registered and will be untraceable. “These new do-it-yourself versions will make it easier for Americans to protect their Second Amendment rights. Whether they’re public-policy hobbyists or more serious opponents of all firearm restrictions, citizens can customize a lobbyist to best fit their advocacy needs.” Loesch added that the 3D-printed lobbyist will be able to deliver approximately $200,000 per minute to pro-gun candidates.

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