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NYC Mayoral Primary Results Delayed Until Officials Finish Watching YouTube Explainer On Ranked Choice Voting

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NEW YORK—Estimating the process could take weeks, New York City election officials confirmed Wednesday that results for the mayoral primary would be delayed until they finished watching a YouTube explainer on ranked choice voting. “While we’re pretty sure who’s leading, we still need to watch a few more videos to help us understand how votes are allocated and why we’re doing this at all,” said Board of Elections president Frederic Umane, who implored voters to remain patient while officials pored through thousands of vlogs and colorful infographics promising to explain the electoral system in 60 seconds or less. “We got close to finding a YouTuber who explained the whole thing clearly, but then he lost us with a little rant about score voting halfway through. Our attention span is very short, so hold tight. We have a lot of videos queued up, and a lot of five-second ads to get through. Plus, we keep getting distracted by all these recommended Richard Feynman and Counting Crows videos.” At press time, election officials announced results would be delayed indefinitely after stumbling across a video from PragerU.