On Usain Bolt Breaking The 100-Meter Dash Record:

"Did you say he ran 100 miles per hour? …No? Damn, I've lost interest."

"At this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if we saw someone break the 9.7175 second barrier."

"Let me know when he breaks the record for Longest Time Holding The 100m Record Without Being Exposed As A Blood Doper."