Once-Loyal Enabler Betrays Man By Suggesting Therapy

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ANN ARBOR, MI—After years of faithfully supporting every bad decision he made, a formerly dependable enabler of local man Ken Vatter reportedly betrayed him Thursday by casually suggesting he see a therapist about his problems. “Maybe it wouldn’t hurt for you to talk to somebody,” said the modern-day Judas, who sources confirmed could once be relied upon to encourage whatever self-destructive behavior or antisocial activity Vatter chose to engage in. “I’m always here for you, but I’m just saying that it might not be a bad idea to sit down with a professional.” At press time, the man who had heartlessly stabbed Vatter in the back was compounding his act of treachery by offering to put his friend in touch with the person he goes to.