We urge all idiots to take caution during this snow emergency and keep in mind the follow tips:
- Snow is cold
- Avoid walking, running, or driving into trees
- A garbage bag does not make a "great coat"
- Keep icicles out of eyes
- Go outside only if supervised by a non-idiot
- Do not eat de-icing salt
- Do not start fires indoors
- If you urinate on self, change pants immediately