Onion Sports shares its expert analysis on the teams that will come away with victory in the NFL’s Divisional Round.
Onion Sports’ NFL Divisional Round Picks
Jaguars at Chiefs
Jaguars at Chiefs
Jaguars: Expect Chiefs coach Andy Reid to have something special up his sleeve for this game. Unfortunately, that will just be a dozen hot dogs.
Offensive Player To Watch: Jaguars
Offensive Player To Watch: Jaguars
Zay Jones: The Jags wide receiver has the field awareness needed to witness numerous Trevor Lawrence interceptions.
Defensive Player To Watch: Jaguars
Defensive Player To Watch: Jaguars
Josh Allen: This could be a perfect opportunity for the pass rusher to pick up a loose quarterback on the ground and return it for a touchdown.
Offensive Player To Watch: Chiefs
Offensive Player To Watch: Chiefs
Patrick Mahomes: Kansas City’s star QB is expected to have his best State Farm commercial yet.
Defensive Player To Watch: Chiefs
Defensive Player To Watch: Chiefs
Chris Jones: Expect the massive defensive tackle to struggle to make it out of the Jaguars’ backfield.
Giants at Eagles
Giants at Eagles
Eagles: Jalen Hurts and the Eagles have what it takes to bring a small dollop of joy to Philadelphia citizens’ otherwise bleak, empty lives.
Offensive Player To Watch: Giants
Offensive Player To Watch: Giants
Daniel Jones: The quarterback has a bright future with his next team.
Defensive Player To Watch: Giants
Defensive Player To Watch: Giants
Dexter Lawrence: The Giants colossal nose tackle will rely on his flexibility and athleticism, which allow him to change direction at least once per game.
Offensive Player To Watch: Eagles
Offensive Player To Watch: Eagles
Jason Kelce: The Eagles’ Pro Bowl center is reportedly practicing a knuckleball hike
Defensive Player To Watch: Eagles
Defensive Player To Watch: Eagles
Ndamukong Suh: Though playing as a backup, the veteran Suh is hoping he still has a few more dirty plays left in him.
Bengals at Bills
Bengals at Bills
Bengals: After Week 17’s suspended matchup, Cincinnati will be eager to get revenge on Damar Hamlin.
Offensive Player To Watch: Bengals
Offensive Player To Watch: Bengals
Joe Burrow: Pretty much just needs to go out there and not throw 20 picks to go down as the best quarterback in Bengals history.
Defensive Player To Watch: Bengals
Defensive Player To Watch: Bengals
Eli Apple: The feisty cornerback will do whatever it takes to be dragged into the end zone while clinging to Josh Allen’s back.
Offensive Player to Watch: Bills
Offensive Player to Watch: Bills
Stefon Diggs: Buffalo’s wideout has shown the ability to make seemingly impossible catches, rending the delicate fabric of our so-called “reality” and plunging NFL fans into a horrid abyss of unfathomable madness.
Defensive Player To Watch: Bills
Defensive Player To Watch: Bills
Tremaine Edmunds: The middle linebacker is the heart and soul and lower intestine and trachea and stapes bone of the Bills defense.
Cowboys at 49ers
Cowboys at 49ers
49ers: San Francisco has better defenders, a more explosive offense, and it’s just really gratifying to see Jerry Jones absolutely fucking miserable.
Offensive Player To Watch: Cowboys
Offensive Player To Watch: Cowboys
Dak Prescott: He has the kind of arm that can ruin the hopes and dreams of any Cowboys fan.
Defensive Player To Watch: Cowboys
Defensive Player To Watch: Cowboys
Micah Parsons: Keep a close eye on the Dallas linebacker, who is a dual threat as a pass rusher and a player who can turn completely invisible for multiple quarters.
Offensive Player To Watch: 49ers
Offensive Player To Watch: 49ers
Brock Purdy: Luckily for San Francisco, Brock Purdy has zero professional experience with losing and barely comprehends the concept of defeat.
Defensive Player To Watch: 49ers
Defensive Player To Watch: 49ers
Nick Bosa: Expect Bosa to come out strong on every play in order to sack Dak Prescott before he has the chance to throw a pick.