
Onion Sports shares its expert analysis on the teams that will come away with victory in the NFL’s week 11 games.
Onion Sports shares its expert analysis on the teams that will come away with victory in the NFL’s week 11 games.
Packers: This is Aaron Rodgers’ chance to prove he can still complain under pressure.
Falcons: This game may very well determine which team gets to squander the first three years of Jalen Carter’s professional football career.
Ravens: Expect a close-fought matchup between various semiliterate drunks in the stands.
Bills: The Bills should be able to get into the driver’s seat in this game if their fans are able to drink 100,000 beers by halftime.
Eagles: Philadelphia will find a way to counter whatever plays Jeff Saturday steals from Madden between now and the game.
Jets: New England has looked impressive between 2000 and 2019.
Saints: With prima donna wide receiver Cooper Kupp quitting on the team last week and threatening to sit out until his ankle injury heals, the Rams may struggle.
Commanders: Expect the Texans’ overwhelmed offensive line to lack answers for Washington’s fierce pass rushers’ questions, such as, “May I sack the quarterback?”
FanDuel: FanDuel is going to make a shitload of money off this game.
Broncos: A desperate Josh McDaniels needs to figure out new, exciting ways to fail.
Steelers: The Bengals’ offensive line will finally slow down T.J. Watt by throwing Joe Burrow directly into the path of the pass rusher.
Vikings: The Cowboys secondary will rely on their speed and agility while quickly turning their heads to watch Justin Jefferson run into the end zone.
Chiefs: The Onion’s state-of-the-art algorithm discovered through a Google search that Kansas City is favored in this game. This thing cost like $8 billion, so we have to go with whatever it says.
Cardinals: This will actually be a home game for both teams, as the 49ers have moved into State Farm Stadium after being priced out of San Francisco.