Onion Sports shares its expert analysis on the teams that will come away with victory in the NFL’s week 15 games.
49ers at Seahawks
49ers: San Francisco rookie quarter Brock Purdy has displayed an incredible amount of toughness, playing through injuries as well as suffering through the brutality of watching Jimmy Garoppolo on the field.
Colts at Vikings
Vikings: Matt Ryan has a proven ability to put the ball in the hands of any number of opposing teams’ cornerbacks.
Ravens at Browns
Ravens: Expect a completely desperate DeShaun Watson to beg his teammates for a quick tug job in the huddle.
Dolphins at Bills
Bills: Miami head coach Mike McDaniel will have trouble managing the game after being stuffed into a locker earlier in the day by his own players.
Falcons at Saints
Saints: With a win here, watch for Saints QB Andy Dalton to prove why he’s still the best option to lead your team to a 7-9 season.
Eagles at Bears
Eagles: Chicago will fail to slowdown the Eagles high-power offense with long winded stories about winning the Super Bowl in 1985.
Lions at Jets
Jets: Expect the Lions to rebound from their two game winning streak and get back on track with a loss.
Steelers at Panthers
Panthers: With Pittsburgh’s rookie quarterback injured, expect Steelers backup Mitchell Trubisky to prove beyond a doubt that he has a strong future on the bench.
Cowboys at Jaguars
Jaguars: An impressive performance against the Titans in week 14 has Trevor Lawrence more motivated than ever to request a trade.
Chiefs at Texans
Texans: Houston can score a surprise win over Kansas City provided they discover some kind of magical amulet or talisman or something.
Cardinals at Broncos
Cardinals: Look, at this point even the phrase “Broncos Country, Let’s Ride” is embarrassed to be uttered from Russell Wilson’s mouth.
Patriots at Raiders
Patriots: Bill Belichick has finally eased into a rhythm of making daily phone calls pleading with Tom Brady to come back.
Titans at Chargers
Chargers: In the midst of a three-game losing streak, Tennessee is still looking for the right person to fire.
Bengals at Buccaneers
Bengals: Buccaneers quarterback Tom Brady will have his hands full trying to evade law enforcement coming to subpoena him over his FTX endorsements.
Giants at Commanders
Commanders: Dan Snyder’s Commanders have been one of the surprise success stories this NFL season, and proof that sometimes good things do happen to good people.
Rams at Packers
Packers: Aaron Rodgers will win this quarterback duel, while coming to a draw in debating various teammates about eugenics.