America's Finest News Source.

Send us a tip!Shop

We may earn a commission from links on this page.

America's Finest News Source.

Inion

Roundtable Commentary American Voices

Image for It Is Journalism’s Sacred Duty To Endanger The Lives Of As Many Trans People As Possible

It Is Journalism’s Sacred Duty To Endanger The Lives Of As Many Trans People As Possible

The task of reporting is not a simple one. Each and every day, reporters and editors at publications like The Onion make difficult decisions about which issues should receive attention, knowing that our coverage will influence not only how people…

Image for One Time I Was In England And I Was A Prince And My Mom Was Diana And She Died And My Family Is Mean And My Wife Is Brown And I’m Sorry I Wore A Nazi

One Time I Was In England And I Was A Prince And My Mom Was Diana And She Died And My Family Is Mean And My Wife Is Brown And I’m Sorry I Wore A Nazi

By Prince Harry

Image for Point/Counterpoint: President Trump Went Too Far On Jan. 6 vs. Mike Pence Was Wrong To Say President Trump Went Too Far On Jan. 6

Point/Counterpoint: President Trump Went Too Far On Jan. 6 vs. Mike Pence Was Wrong To Say President Trump Went Too Far On Jan. 6

On Jan. 6, 2020, President Trump attempted to change the course of U.S. history forever. Rather than accept a loss, he asked me, Vice President Mike Pence, to step in and overturn the election in his favor.

Image for Honey, If You Ever Have Any Questions About Sex, You Can Always Consult The Hundreds Of Pages Of Fan Fiction In My Closet

Honey, If You Ever Have Any Questions About Sex, You Can Always Consult The Hundreds Of Pages Of Fan Fiction In My Closet

Well, you’re getting to that age. Your body is starting to change, and you may have begun to experience new kinds of feelings you’ve never felt before. I wish I could keep you little forever, but I can’t! It’s not always the easiest thing to talk…

Watch

Off
English

The Onion Film Standard: John Wick: Chapter 4

Conservatives Explain Why They Support 'National Divorce' Of Red, Blue States

Neighborhood Slowly Realizing Person Who Threw Up On Sidewalk Not Returning To Clean It Up

The Onion Film Standard: Shazam! Fury Of The Gods

You Can Still Get Taylor Swift Tickets Down This Dark Alley By Crawling Into Back Of This Van

Cartoons

Image for Channeled Aggression

Channeled Aggression

Image for Atone Deaf

Atone Deaf

Image for What The Cluck

What The Cluck

Image for Harrangue Up Your Purchases

Harrangue Up Your Purchases

Commentary

Image for What I Got Right About The Iraq War

What I Got Right About The Iraq War

By Dick Cheney

Image for I Am No Longer A Feminist After Watching Some YouTube Videos

I Am No Longer A Feminist After Watching Some YouTube Videos

Image for My Wife’s A Girl

My Wife’s A Girl

Image for The Misogyny Interwoven Into Our Patriarchal Society Harms Men, Too

The Misogyny Interwoven Into Our Patriarchal Society Harms Men, Too

Slideshow

Image for Conservatives Explain How Woke Culture Is Destroying America

Conservatives Explain How Woke Culture Is Destroying America

Image for CEOs React To Arrest Of Sam Bankman-Fried

CEOs React To Arrest Of Sam Bankman-Fried

Image for Americans React To Brittney Griner Returning Home From Russia

Americans React To Brittney Griner Returning Home From Russia

American Voices

Image for Rupert Murdoch, 92, Engaged To Be Married For 5th Time

American Voices

Rupert Murdoch, 92, Engaged To Be Married For 5th Time

Ninety-two-year-old billionaire Rupert Murdoch announced his engagement to 66-year-old Ann Lesley Smith just six months after the pair first met and seven months after his divorce from his fourth wife. What do you think?

Image for Gwyneth Paltrow Stands Trial For ‘Hit-And-Run’ Ski Crash

American Voices

Gwyneth Paltrow Stands Trial For ‘Hit-And-Run’ Ski Crash

Image for Study Suggests ‘Dad Jokes’ May Help Kids Develop Into Healthy Adults

American Voices

Study Suggests ‘Dad Jokes’ May Help Kids Develop Into Healthy Adults

Image for Dunkin’ Discontinues Fan-Favorite Dunkaccino Drink

American Voices

Dunkin’ Discontinues Fan-Favorite Dunkaccino Drink

Ask the Experts

Image for Ask A Nobleman Attempting To Secure A Husband For His Least-Marriageable Daughter

Ask the Experts

Ask A Nobleman Attempting To Secure A Husband For His Least-Marriageable Daughter

Dear Nobleman Attempting To Secure A Husband For His Least-Marriageable Daughter,

Image for Ask Cover Letters For An Entry-Level Social Media Position At ‘Field & Stream’ Magazine

Ask the Experts

Ask Cover Letters For An Entry-Level Social Media Position At ‘Field & Stream’ Magazine

Image for Ask A Boyfriend Who Just Might Dig Himself Out Of Trouble If He Plays This Perfectly

Ask the Experts

Ask A Boyfriend Who Just Might Dig Himself Out Of Trouble If He Plays This Perfectly

Image for Ask A Closeted Homosexual Riverboat Captain

Ask the Experts

Ask A Closeted Homosexual Riverboat Captain

Advertisement