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Opinion

Opinion

Image for Americans Explain Why They No Longer Trust The Supreme Court

Americans Explain Why They No Longer Trust The Supreme Court

Recent polls show that trust in the Supreme Court has continued to erode since Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization overturned a woman’s constitutional right to an abortion. The Onion asked Americans to explain why they have lost faith in…

7/12/22 5:00AM

Image for Canadians React To American Gun Laws

Canadians React To American Gun Laws

“I’m for whatever leads to fewer Americans.”

7/08/22 11:45AM

Image for Point/Counterpoint: A Self-Driving Tesla Ran Over My Son vs. Elon Musk Is Revolutionizing The Way We Kill People

Point/Counterpoint: A Self-Driving Tesla Ran Over My Son vs. Elon Musk Is Revolutionizing The Way We Kill People

Earlier this year, my family suffered an unimaginable tragedy when we lost my beautiful 5-year-old son Gavin. While out on a walk, Gavin stepped into a crosswalk and was immediately struck and killed by a speeding self-driving Tesla, ending his…

5/31/22 10:11AM

Image for Nashville Hot Dog Eatery Offering Free Milkshake With Proof Of Vasectomy

American Voices

Nashville Hot Dog Eatery Offering Free Milkshake With Proof Of Vasectomy

A Nashville hot dog eatery is offering customers a free milkshake for showing a doctor’s note as proof of having had a vasectomy in a promotion inspired by the overturning of Roe v. Wade and offered as an incentive for having the birth control…

7/12/22 6:00AM

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English

This Elon Musk Deepfake Cannot Be Real

EPA Closes Down After Running Out Of Salvageable Environment To Protect

Parent Fact: Did You Know?

Statue Reacts To Chicken Reacting To Fried Chicken Tutorial

The Onion Reviews 'When Harry Met Sally'

Cartoons

Image for The Yeast They Could Do

The Yeast They Could Do

Image for Sleeps With The Loaves And Fishes

Sleeps With The Loaves And Fishes

Image for Vicious Cycles

Vicious Cycles

Image for Period Drama

Period Drama

Slideshow

Image for Americans Explain Why They Want Trump To Run Again

Americans Explain Why They Want Trump To Run Again

Image for Americans Explain Why They Refuse To Return To The Office

Americans Explain Why They Refuse To Return To The Office

Image for Californians Explain Why They Should Secede From The Nation

Californians Explain Why They Should Secede From The Nation

American Voices

Image for Armed Man Tries To Breach FBI Office In Cincinnati

American Voices

Armed Man Tries To Breach FBI Office In Cincinnati

Image for New Study Finds Women Can Have 3 Types Of Orgasms

American Voices

New Study Finds Women Can Have 3 Types Of Orgasms

Image for Trump Invokes 5th Amendment In N.Y. Civil Probe Of His Business Dealings

American Voices

Trump Invokes 5th Amendment In N.Y. Civil Probe Of His Business Dealings

Image for Massive Sinkhole Opens Up In Chile

American Voices

Massive Sinkhole Opens Up In Chile

Ask the Experts

Image for Ask A Nobleman Attempting To Secure A Husband For His Least-Marriageable Daughter

Ask the Experts

Ask A Nobleman Attempting To Secure A Husband For His Least-Marriageable Daughter

Image for Ask Cover Letters For An Entry-Level Social Media Position At ‘Field & Stream’ Magazine

Ask the Experts

Ask Cover Letters For An Entry-Level Social Media Position At ‘Field & Stream’ Magazine

Image for Ask A Boyfriend Who Just Might Dig Himself Out Of Trouble If He Plays This Perfectly

Ask the Experts

Ask A Boyfriend Who Just Might Dig Himself Out Of Trouble If He Plays This Perfectly

Image for Ask A Closeted Homosexual Riverboat Captain

Ask the Experts

Ask A Closeted Homosexual Riverboat Captain

Commentary

Image for This Isn’t Goodbye, It’s See You In A Few Seconds

This Isn’t Goodbye, It’s See You In A Few Seconds

Image for Point/Counterpoint: President Trump Went Too Far On Jan. 6 vs. Mike Pence Was Wrong To Say President Trump Went Too Far On Jan. 6

Point/Counterpoint

Point/Counterpoint: President Trump Went Too Far On Jan. 6 vs. Mike Pence Was Wrong To Say President Trump Went Too Far On Jan. 6

Image for Point/Counterpoint: A Self-Driving Tesla Ran Over My Son vs. Elon Musk Is Revolutionizing The Way We Kill People

Point/Counterpoint

Point/Counterpoint: A Self-Driving Tesla Ran Over My Son vs. Elon Musk Is Revolutionizing The Way We Kill People

Image for BREAKING: ‘The Onion’ Has Purchased A 0.000000125% Stake In Twitter And Is Demanding A Seat On The Board

BREAKING: ‘The Onion’ Has Purchased A 0.000000125% Stake In Twitter And Is Demanding A Seat On The Board

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