Earlier this year, my family suffered an unimaginable tragedy when we lost my beautiful 5-year-old son Gavin. While…
In an unprecedented move certain to bring the entire tech industry to its knees, The Onion proudly announces this…
A darkness has fallen upon the Fourth Estate. It is a darkness only seen after a nation’s sole beacon of…
On Feb. 24, 2022, I—Vladimir Putin—sent troops into Ukraine to conduct a special military operation. As the…
It can be strange, sometimes, to be me. I’m the wealthiest man on the planet, for starters. Leaders across America,…
When The Onion’s editorial board convened to discuss the tumultuous events of the previous month, one conclusion…
I, Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, have faced countless challenges throughout my decades-long career. As a member…
How glad I am that that absolute heckscape known as 2020 is finally over! Whew! I don’t care if the year made the…
The duty of a free press has always been to provide readers with a comprehensive and unvarnished picture of the…
As many controversial stories have recently demonstrated, journalists play a significant role in determining how a…
I have a small confession to make. There’s this little thing that, for whatever reason, I just can’t stop Myself…
Each fall, we welcome the sight of jack-o’-lanterns. They beautify our porches, light the paths to our doors, and,…
Hi, I’m Kevin Costner. In 1995, I was in a pretty big-budget movie called Waterworld, and a major plot point of Water…
When you strike it big as a children’s author, your life changes dramatically. The money starts pouring in, and then…
Well, you’re getting to that age. Your body is starting to change, and you may have begun to experience new kinds of…
Many travel for the pleasures of sightseeing. Others to experience a different culture: its history, its art, its…
There’s been some changes lately ’round these parts. Spilling over the countryside from hill to holler, Muslim…
So you’ve probably heard about the new report saying human-caused climate change is putting about a million…