Opinion

Denver Nuggets’ Rocky Revealed As NBA’s Highest-Paid Mascot With $625,000 Salary

A new report revealed that the Denver Nuggets mascot, Rocky the Mountain Lion, is the NBA’s highest-paid mascot, taking home $625,000 a year, almost 10 times that of the average $60,000 salary for a league mascot. What do you think?

Industry Leaders Warn That AI Poses ‘Risk Of Extinction’

Scientists and tech industry execs are sounding the alarm about artificial intelligence, writing in a new public statement that fast-evolving AI technology could create as high a risk of killing off humankind as nuclear war and Covid-19-like…

Men Explain What Consent Means

The Onion asked men—the world’s foremost experts on asking permission, listening, and respecting boundaries—what the word consent means, and this is what they said.

Suspected Russia-Trained Spy Whale Spotted Off Sweden’s Coast

A beluga whale that turned up in Norway wearing a harness in 2019, prompting speculation it was a spy trained by the Russian navy, has reappeared off Sweden’s coast. What do you think?

Inion

Denver Nuggets’ Rocky Revealed As NBA’s Highest-Paid Mascot With $625,000 Salary

Industry Leaders Warn That AI Poses ‘Risk Of Extinction’

Men Explain What Consent Means

Suspected Russia-Trained Spy Whale Spotted Off Sweden’s Coast

Throne Off

O. B. Gee, Why Not?

Tyrannosaurus Wrecked

Checked Out

If Pigs Are So Smart, Why Won’t They Debate Me?

America Is An Out-Of-Touch Gerontocracy, And I’m Glad I Don’t Live There

We Are Post-Pandemic. We Are Immortal. Those Still Alive Cannot Die.

What I Got Right About The Iraq War

Conservatives Explain How Woke Culture Is Destroying America

CEOs React To Arrest Of Sam Bankman-Fried

Americans React To Brittney Griner Returning Home From Russia

Denver Nuggets’ Rocky Revealed As NBA’s Highest-Paid Mascot With $625,000 Salary

Industry Leaders Warn That AI Poses ‘Risk Of Extinction’

Suspected Russia-Trained Spy Whale Spotted Off Sweden’s Coast

Russia Issues Arrest Warrant For Lindsey Graham

Ask A Nobleman Attempting To Secure A Husband For His Least-Marriageable Daughter

Ask Cover Letters For An Entry-Level Social Media Position At ‘Field & Stream’ Magazine

Ask A Boyfriend Who Just Might Dig Himself Out Of Trouble If He Plays This Perfectly

Ask A Closeted Homosexual Riverboat Captain