Oscar Guide: Best Director

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Spike Lee, BlacKkKlansman

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Reason For Being Nominated: Another chance for the Academy to deprive him of a win

Joints Made: 44

Primary Residence: Front row at a Knicks Game

Filmmaking Style: Spike Lee is known for his penchant for placing the actors in front of the camera and the crew off screen

Biggest Regret: Feels he failed to properly address racism, urban crime, and poverty in his 1991 film Levi’s 501 Button-Fly Jeans Featuring Rob Liefeld

Pawel Pawlikowski, Cold War

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Name Pronunciation: GRTE-gjingd veud-tbi-GHTH-jskbf

Filmmaking Style: Foreign

Career High: Leaving Poland

Previous Films: Polish People Crying Together In Black-And-White (2014), Forlorn Slavic People During The 1980s (2016), Depressed Times From The Wall (2017)

Favorite PornHub Search: Pregnancy POV best friend’s wife hot

Yorgos Lanthimos, The Favourite

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Influences: Probably, let’s say, Stanley Kubrick? Seems right

Background: After a decade of lingering in experimental obscurity, he wised up and directed a film about British royalty in the 18th century

Controversial Statements: “All of my films explore the universal truth that Robert Kennedy deserved to die.”

Career Highlight: Getting to boss that rude Irish fuck Colin Farrell around on the set of The Lobster

Inspiration: Anything, from the rustling of the wind through a willow tree, a crane taking flight, or a baby’s first tears after being born

Adam McKay, Vice

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Smartest Career Move: Forgetting to respond to a text from Will Ferrell asking if he wanted to direct Holmes & Watson

Filmmaking Style: Didactic

Sidenote: Huh, no female directors this year? Not to take away the spotlight from McKay, but...huh!

Gear: 1978 Gibson Les Paul, 1962 Fender Stratocaster, 1996 Rickenbacker Fireglo

Net Worth: Too high to be as angry at the system as he is

Alfonso Cuarón, Roma

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Advice To Aspiring Filmmakers: “Make sure the makeup department remembers to add Harry’s scar because otherwise you’ll end up with a lot of continuity errors that are a nightmare to fix.”

Filming Hand: Right

Career Low: When a crew member died on the set of Gravity after floating off into outer space

Aspiration: To someday cash in, direct one of those American Express commercials, and never have to aggravate himself making these stupid make-believe stories again

Net Worth: The experiences he’s had and the friendships he’s made in life