Heading into week five, there are 10 NFL franchises with a 1-3 or worse record. Here are some surefire tips for teams to get their seasons back on track:
- Remember, it’s never too late to turn your season around, unless of course you’re an NFL team that started 0-4, at which point it’s time to start thinking draft strategy.
- Visualize going 8-8.
- Take it one game at a time. Then if you’re feeling lucky, go ahead and take it four or five games at a time.
- In your pregame speech, explain to your players that this team is like a big ship. They’ll know what you mean.
- Learn the value of teamwork: +0.72 wins per season, on average.
- All you need is heart, desire, and a brand-new roster loaded with Pro Bowl–level talent.
- If Greg Schiano, Rex Ryan, Leslie Frazier, Todd Haley, or Marty Mornhinweg are part of your coaching staff, fire them immediately.
- Abandon narrow-minded measurement of success in terms of wins and losses.
- Ask any of the nation’s incredibly knowledgeable sports columnists for their expertise.
- Create bulletin board material to motivate your players by openly talking about how much they suck during press conferences.
- Just wait it out until Von Miller is back from suspension.
- Remember that this is a league in which a shitty 10-6 team with Joe Flacco at quarterback can win a Super Bowl.