Our Annual Year: Best Of April

Our Annual Year: Best Of April

4/30/19 11:55PM

•

Panic Rapidly Setting In As Man Realizes He Has No Plan For Ripe Avocado

Advertisement

Family Respects Grandmother’s Wishes To Have Open-Bloused Funeral

Advertisement

Priest Cursed With Incredible Penis

Advertisement

Local Teen Invents Masturbation

Advertisement

White House Says Mueller Report Must Be Kept Private Because It’s So Exonerating It Would Drive Public Mad

Advertisement

Pete Buttigieg Stuns Campaign Crowd By Speaking To Manufacturing Robots In Fluent Binary

Advertisement

Defiant Sarah Huckabee Sanders Claims She Doesn’t Know Where Voice Comes From When She Opens Mouth

Advertisement

William Barr Agrees To Release Nonverbal, Abstract Visual Representation Of Mueller Report

Advertisement

Lightning Bolt Blasts Washington Monument As Mike Pence, Pete Buttigieg Locked In Battle Of Prayers On National Mall

Advertisement

Investigators Trace Cause Of Notre Dame Fire To Cathedral’s Outdated 12th-Century Electrical System

Advertisement

Unemployed Prince Harry, Meghan Markle Announce Plans To Give Baby Up For Adoption

Advertisement

Peeps Unveils New Boneless, Skinless Marshmallow Breasts

Advertisement

Tucker Carlson Challenges Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez To A Date

Advertisement

Cackling Julian Assange Disintegrates Into Lines Of Code As Baffled Authorities Attempt To Handcuff Him

Advertisement

Report Reveals Jesus Christ May Have Benefited From Father’s Influential Position To Gain High-Powered Role As Lord And Savior

Advertisement

More from The Onion

Our Annual Year: Best Of May

Our Annual Year: Best Of June

Our Annual Year: Best Of July

Our Annual Year: Best Of Sports