Our Annual Year: Best Of April

Panic Rapidly Setting In As Man Realizes He Has No Plan For Ripe Avocado

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Family Respects Grandmother’s Wishes To Have Open-Bloused Funeral

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Priest Cursed With Incredible Penis

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Local Teen Invents Masturbation

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White House Says Mueller Report Must Be Kept Private Because It’s So Exonerating It Would Drive Public Mad

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Pete Buttigieg Stuns Campaign Crowd By Speaking To Manufacturing Robots In Fluent Binary

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Defiant Sarah Huckabee Sanders Claims She Doesn’t Know Where Voice Comes From When She Opens Mouth

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William Barr Agrees To Release Nonverbal, Abstract Visual Representation Of Mueller Report

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Lightning Bolt Blasts Washington Monument As Mike Pence, Pete Buttigieg Locked In Battle Of Prayers On National Mall

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Investigators Trace Cause Of Notre Dame Fire To Cathedral’s Outdated 12th-Century Electrical System

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Unemployed Prince Harry, Meghan Markle Announce Plans To Give Baby Up For Adoption

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Peeps Unveils New Boneless, Skinless Marshmallow Breasts

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Tucker Carlson Challenges Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez To A Date

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Cackling Julian Assange Disintegrates Into Lines Of Code As Baffled Authorities Attempt To Handcuff Him

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Report Reveals Jesus Christ May Have Benefited From Father’s Influential Position To Gain High-Powered Role As Lord And Savior

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