Our Annual Year: Best Of February

Pedestrian Crossing Street Makes Sure To Look At Approaching Car So Driver Will Feel More Guilty If They Run Him Over

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Lazy Poor Person Has Never Earned Passive Income From Stock Dividends A Day In His Life

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New Mom Self-Conscious About Scar Where Baby Punched Its Way Out Of Stomach

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Trump Solemnly Lays Wreath At Site Where He Would Have Died During Vietnam War If He Weren’t Rich

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Congress Agrees To $1.3 Billion For Protective Border Fencers

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Winded Trump Forced To Lie Down For Last Half Of Speech

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Ilhan Omar Thankful For Colleagues Educating Her On Painful History AIPAC Lobbyists Have Had To Endure

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Nancy Pelosi Signals Support For Environmental Causes By Placing Green New Deal Directly Into Recycling Bin

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Authorities Swiftly Announce 1,600 Washington Dairy Cows Found Mutilated, Arranged In Pentagram Killed By Blizzard

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‘Fly, My Pretties,’ Says Jeff Bezos Releasing Swarm Of Amazon Drones To Hunt Down Nude Photos

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Chicago Police Credit Their Extensive Experience Falsifying Evidence For Helping Solve Smollett Case

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Victoria’s Secret Releases Sexy Black Lace Sleep Apnea Mask

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Spacecraft Travel From All Over Galaxy To Honor End Of Opportunity Rover’s Life

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Kim Jong-Un Panics After Returning To North Korea To Find Country’s Populace Has Escaped

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Pope Spends Afternoon Filling In Glory Holes All Over St. Peter’s Basilica

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