Our Annual Year: Best Of July

Woman Spirals Into Vortex Of Self-Doubt After Trader Joe’s Cashier Does Not Compliment Any Of Her Selected Items

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Pizza Crust Saved To Make Pizza Stock

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Gynecologist Inserting IUD Promises Woman It Will Be Just A Quick Pinch And Then She’ll Be On The Floor Unconscious

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4-Year-Old Convinced Father A Moron After 45th Consecutive Hide-And-Seek Victory

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Ruth Bader Ginsburg Suspended For Next 10 Rulings Following Supreme Court Bench-Clearing Brawl

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Pelosi Concerned Outspoken Progressive Flank Of Party Could Harm Democrats’ Reputation As Ineffectual Cowards

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Trump Honors Brave Heroes Who Slept With Wives Of Deployed Soldiers

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82-Year-Old New Jersey Congressman Bill Pascrell Quietly Asks Ilhan Omar If He Can Be Part Of The Squad

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Trump Escalates Baltimore Attacks With Rambling, 3-Hour Press Conference Tearing Into Edgar Allan Poe

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Paul Ryan Lauded For Inspiring Millions Of Young Gutless Fucking Cowards To Take On Leadership Roles

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Real Buzz Aldrin Spends 50th Straight Year On Moon Trying To Signal Earth To Warn Of Imposter

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God Orders All Followers To Swallow Cyanide Capsules In Preparation For Voyage To Alpha Centauri

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Frustrated Subway Marketers Scrap $150 Million Jeffrey Epstein Ad Campaign

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ICE Sends Agents Home With Sacks Of Flour To Practice What It Like Detaining Real Baby

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Small Town Ravished By Alejandro

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