Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2011

Virgin Mary Statue Crying For No Good Reason

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Report: Majority Of Money Donated At Church Doesn’t Make It To God

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Gap Between Rich And Poor Named 8th Wonder Of The World

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Study: 89 Percent Of Networking Nonconsensual

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Department Of Health And Human Services Recommends Standing At Least Once A Day

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Republicans Vote To Repeal Obama-Backed Bill That Would Destroy Asteroid Headed For Earth

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Police Bust Giraffe-Fighting Ring

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Future U.S. History Students: ‘It’s Pretty Embarrassing How Long You Guys Took To Legalize Gay Marriage’

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Senator Honored For Work With Overprivileged Americans

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Police Find Adorable Little Skeleton

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Embarrassed Republicans Admit They’ve Been Thinking Of Eisenhower Whole Time They’ve Been Praising Reagan

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NASA Completes 52-Year Mission To Find, Kill God

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Postal Service Celebrates Another Awesome Day Of Delivering Mail

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Dead Teenager Remembered For Great Hand Jobs

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Grown Adult Actually Expects To Be Happy

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Laid-Back Voices Urging Man To Kill His Family When He Gets A Chance

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Continued Existence Of Edible Arrangements Disproves Central Tenets Of Capitalism

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White House To Hold Second Auditions This Week For Nationwide Production Of ‘Guys And Dolls’

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Trump Unable To Produce Certificate Proving He’s Not A Festering Pile Of Shit

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Osama Bin Laden Killed While Sitting On Toilet, Nation Likes To Imagine

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Planned Parenthood Opens $8 Billion Abortionplex

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Enraged 500-Foot-Tall Bin Laden Rises From Sea, Destroys New York, Washington

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Bin Laden Returns To Sea

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I Spilled My Soda, Report Nation’s Dopes

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Planet Earth Doesn’t Know How To Make It Any Clearer It Wants Everyone To Leave

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Fire Consumes Big Happy Farm Where Families Send Sick Dogs To Run Free And Play

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Man Just Going To Grab Guitar And Old Four-Track, Go Out To Cabin In Woods, Make Shittiest Album Anyone’s Ever Heard

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Tim Pawlenty Shaves Off Every Hair On His Body In Really Weird Campaign Gaffe

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Report: Typical City Bus Contains No Fewer Than Four Erections At Any Given Time

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30 Years Of Man’s Life Disappear In Mysterious ‘Kansas Rectangle’

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Nickname To Forever Prevent People From Getting To Know The Real Dumptruck

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Vatican Reverses Stance On Gay Marriage After Meeting Tony And Craig

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Nation Ready For Its Din Din

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Area Woman Excited To Finally Experience Unbearable Loneliness Of Having Her Own Place

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Kid Massive

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Scientists Trace Heat Wave To Massive Star At Center Of Solar System

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Laffy Taffy Sponsors Every Cobblestone At 9/11 Memorial

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Visa Exposed As Massive Credit Card Scam

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Study: 96 Percent Of Humans Would Rather Be Animatronic Bear

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Man Somehow Overcomes Alcoholism Without Jesus

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Report: Male Hair Loss 7 Times More Painful Than Childbirth

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Former Lovers Meet In Coffee Shop For One Last Cliché

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Shitty Zoo Promoting Hell Out Of New Fruit Bat

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U.S. Commemorates 9/11 By Toasting Stable Afghan Government From Top Of Freedom Tower

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Cool Dad Raising Daughter On Media That Will Put Her Entirely Out Of Touch With Her Generation

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Everybody Shocked Body Found In Woods Not Justin

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New Bipartisan Law Would Make Dog Neckerchiefs Mandatory

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Study Finds Every Style Of Parenting Produces Disturbed, Miserable Adults

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Breaking: Jessica Milly To Start Putting Out

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Report: Jessica Milly Has Put Out

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