Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012

All Of Area Man’s Hard Work Finally Pays Off For Employer

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Capitol Building Haunted By Spirit Of Killed Piece Of Legislation

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Dry Humping An Adequate Sex Alternative For Teens, Says Weird, Unsolicited Report From Department Of Interior

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Supreme Court Overturns ‘Right v. Wrong’

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Scientists: ‘Look, One-Third Of The Human Race Has To Die For Civilization To Be Sustainable, So How Do We Want To Do This?’

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

New Breeding Program Aimed At Keeping Moderate Republicans From Going Extinct

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Female Friends Spend Raucous Night Validating The Living Shit Out Of Each Other

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Exhausted Sweatshop Worker Just Has To Laugh After Sewing Fingers Together

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Alien World To Help Out Syria Since This One Refuses To

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Supreme Court Justices Drowsily Bid One Another Good Night While Drifting Off To Sleep In Giant Shared Bed

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

NASA Announces Plans To Put Man On Bus To Cleveland

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Ahmadinejad Kind Of Getting Back Into Old R.E.M. Again

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Quiet Temp Actually Very Untalented Singer-Songwriter

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Shadows Meet The Clouds, Gray On Gray, Like Dusty Charcoal On An Ashen Brow, Nation’s Poets Report

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Nude Man Who Locked Self Out Of House Delivers Moving Treatise On Human Condition To Slowly Gathering Crowd

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Report: Dad Proud Of You; He Won’t Say It, But It’s True

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Donald Trump Stares Forlornly At Tiny, Aged Penis In Mirror Before Putting On Clothes, Beginning Day

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Woman, Gay Best Friend Go On Another One Of Their Little Adventures

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

New Study Finds 85% Of Americans Don’t Know All The Dance Moves To National Anthem

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

‘You Will Die Someday And It Will Be Sad,’ All Man Thinking During Dinner With Parents

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Chick-Fil-A Debuts New Homophobic Sandwich

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Report: 2012 Election Likely To Be Decided By 4 Or 5 Key Swing Corporations

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Popeye’s Home Boiglerized

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Pregnant Woman Relieved To Learn Her Rape Was Illegitimate

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

College Newspaper Endorses Barack Obama

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

GOP Convention To Feature Strong Lineup Of Conservative Women Listeners

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Bill Clinton Finally Just Shows America His Penis

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Blissful Ignorance Commemorated On Annual 9/10 Anniversary

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

No One Murdered Because Of This Image

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Munchstrosity Created In Frito-Layboratory

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Dad Suggests Arriving At Airport 14 Hours Early

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Newly Unemployed Woman Enjoys Equal Pay For First Time In Career

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Insurance Company Celebrates 50 Billionth Fucking Over Of Customer

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Biden Implores Obama To ‘Rub One Out’ Before Debate

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Mitt Romney Adopts New ‘Ronnie Ferocious’ Persona For Debates

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Mr. Autumn Man Walking Down Street With Cup Of Coffee, Wearing Sweater Over Plaid Collared Shirt

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Horrible Boogie Boarding Accident Leaves Man Totally Bummed Below The Neck

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Thriving ‘Onion’ Puts Another Print Edition Out Of Business

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Cactus Scientists Recommend Drinking 8 Cups Of Water Per Year

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Pakistani Boy, U.S. Drone Form Unlikely Friendship

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Defeated Man Victorious

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Man Googles Matt Damon’s Address Because, Well, He’s Crazy And Wants To Kill Him

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Kim Jong-Un Named The Onion’s Sexiest Man Alive For 2012

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Nation’s Uncles Enter Last Stage Of Prep For Thursday’s Thanksgiving Debates

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

42 Million Dead In Bloodiest Black Friday Weekend On Record

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Taylor Swift Apparently Now Dating ‘Garfield’ Creator Jim Davis

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Mumford And Sons Can’t Believe They All Got Each Other Mandolins For Christmas

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement

Fuck Everything, Nation Reports

Illustration for article titled Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2012
Advertisement