
Our Dumb Decade: Best Of 2014

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Study: This Descended From Wolves
Study: This Descended From Wolves

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Pilot Tells Passengers He’s About To Try Something
Pilot Tells Passengers He’s About To Try Something

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Seahawks To Seattle Fans: ‘Shut The Fuck Up’
Seahawks To Seattle Fans: ‘Shut The Fuck Up’

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Mom Just Called To Say Hi And That She’s Very Sad
Mom Just Called To Say Hi And That She’s Very Sad

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Beautiful Cinnamon Roll Too Good For This World, Too Pure
Beautiful Cinnamon Roll Too Good For This World, Too Pure

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Aaron Eckhart Likes To Make One Frankenstein Movie For Them, One Frankenstein Movie For Himself
Aaron Eckhart Likes To Make One Frankenstein Movie For Them, One Frankenstein Movie For Himself

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Teacher Surprised The 2 Weird Kids Haven’t Hit It Off Yet
Teacher Surprised The 2 Weird Kids Haven’t Hit It Off Yet

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Nation’s Girlfriends Admit Absolutely Everything Riding On Valentine’s Day
Nation’s Girlfriends Admit Absolutely Everything Riding On Valentine’s Day

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NASCAR Fans Realize Richard Petty May Not Be As Open-Minded As He Looks
NASCAR Fans Realize Richard Petty May Not Be As Open-Minded As He Looks

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Drunken Man Careens Wildly Across Internet
Drunken Man Careens Wildly Across Internet

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Emergency Crews Attempt To Rescue Olympic Figure Skater Who Fell Through Ice
Emergency Crews Attempt To Rescue Olympic Figure Skater Who Fell Through Ice

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German Leaders Quietly Confident They Could Pull Off Another Holocaust If They Ever Really Wanted
German Leaders Quietly Confident They Could Pull Off Another Holocaust If They Ever Really Wanted

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So-Called Christian Has Erection
So-Called Christian Has Erection

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Debate Raging As To Whether Michael Jordan Or LeBron James Biggest Asshole To Ever Play Basketball
Debate Raging As To Whether Michael Jordan Or LeBron James Biggest Asshole To Ever Play Basketball

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Modern Science Still Only Able To Predict One Upcoming Tetris Block
Modern Science Still Only Able To Predict One Upcoming Tetris Block

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Political Cartoonist’s Wife Finds Disturbing Nude Drawings Of Uncle Sam
Political Cartoonist’s Wife Finds Disturbing Nude Drawings Of Uncle Sam

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BREAKING: Imperial Inspector To Arrive By Railcar This Very Afternoon
BREAKING: Imperial Inspector To Arrive By Railcar This Very Afternoon

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Brief Moment Of Lucidity Called Panic Attack
Brief Moment Of Lucidity Called Panic Attack

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Area Mother Doesn’t See Why Thai People Need To Make Food So Spicy
Area Mother Doesn’t See Why Thai People Need To Make Food So Spicy

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‘The Onion’ Offers Richie Incognito A 5-Year, $50 Million Contract
‘The Onion’ Offers Richie Incognito A 5-Year, $50 Million Contract

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Obama Spends Afternoon In Garage Restoring Classic Drone
Obama Spends Afternoon In Garage Restoring Classic Drone

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Increasing Number Of Men Pressured To Accept Realistic Standards Of Female Beauty
Increasing Number Of Men Pressured To Accept Realistic Standards Of Female Beauty

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FBI Uncovers Al-Qaeda Plot To Just Sit Back And Enjoy Collapse Of United States
FBI Uncovers Al-Qaeda Plot To Just Sit Back And Enjoy Collapse Of United States

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Report: U.S. Still Leads World With Highest Density Of Kevins
Report: U.S. Still Leads World With Highest Density Of Kevins

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Local Man Not Sure How He Ended Up In Boxing Entourage
Local Man Not Sure How He Ended Up In Boxing Entourage

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Report: Growing Number Of Americans Forced To Make Ends Meet By Collaborating On Song With Pitbull
Report: Growing Number Of Americans Forced To Make Ends Meet By Collaborating On Song With Pitbull

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Man Feeling Guilty About Chowing Down At 9/11 Museum Café
Man Feeling Guilty About Chowing Down At 9/11 Museum Café

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Everyone In Sears Spanking A Child
Everyone In Sears Spanking A Child

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Girlfriend, Girlfriend’s Brother Look Way Too Much Alike
Girlfriend, Girlfriend’s Brother Look Way Too Much Alike

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‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens
‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens

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Study Links Drinking While Pregnant To Being At Kid Rock Concert
Study Links Drinking While Pregnant To Being At Kid Rock Concert

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Bedtime Story From Fucking Bible Again
Bedtime Story From Fucking Bible Again

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Man’s Anxiety Not About To Let Depression Muscle In On Turf
Man’s Anxiety Not About To Let Depression Muscle In On Turf

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New Anti-Abortion Legislation Requires Doctors To Scale 18-Foot Wall Surrounding Clinic
New Anti-Abortion Legislation Requires Doctors To Scale 18-Foot Wall Surrounding Clinic

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Homosexuality Only Thing Parents Can Accept About Son
Homosexuality Only Thing Parents Can Accept About Son

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Area Woman’s Type Tall, Athletic Men Who Have Already Hurt Her
Area Woman’s Type Tall, Athletic Men Who Have Already Hurt Her

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Grandmother Talking A Big Game About Being Alive Next Year
Grandmother Talking A Big Game About Being Alive Next Year

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Area Facebook User Incredibly Stupid
Area Facebook User Incredibly Stupid

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Report: 79% Of Minority Suspects Receive Miranda Rights While Unconscious
Report: 79% Of Minority Suspects Receive Miranda Rights While Unconscious

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Report: More Americans Putting Off Retirement Until Final Few Moments Before Death
Report: More Americans Putting Off Retirement Until Final Few Moments Before Death

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New Study Finds Link Between Breastfeeding, Always Knowing What’s Right For Everyone
New Study Finds Link Between Breastfeeding, Always Knowing What’s Right For Everyone

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Death Row Guard Has Always Had A Soft Spot For The Innocent Ones
Death Row Guard Has Always Had A Soft Spot For The Innocent Ones

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3-Day Waiting Period Leads To Far More Feasible Murder Plot
3-Day Waiting Period Leads To Far More Feasible Murder Plot

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Daily Spin Class Only Thing Keeping Mom From Driving Car Full Of Kids Into Ocean
Daily Spin Class Only Thing Keeping Mom From Driving Car Full Of Kids Into Ocean

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Nation Admits It Could Probably Be Talked Into Another War
Nation Admits It Could Probably Be Talked Into Another War

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Teacher Picks Wrong Student To Believe In Every Fucking Year
Teacher Picks Wrong Student To Believe In Every Fucking Year

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Police Pleasantly Surprised To Learn Man They Shot Was Armed
Police Pleasantly Surprised To Learn Man They Shot Was Armed

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Second-Grader Likes To Save Purple Pills For Last
Second-Grader Likes To Save Purple Pills For Last

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Pathetic, Washed-Up Rock Star On Fifth Decade Of Doing Exactly What He Always Wanted
Pathetic, Washed-Up Rock Star On Fifth Decade Of Doing Exactly What He Always Wanted

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Ira Glass Exhausted From Doing Every Single Voice On ‘This American Life’
Ira Glass Exhausted From Doing Every Single Voice On ‘This American Life’

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Paleontologists Determine Dinosaurs Were Killed By Someone They Trusted
Paleontologists Determine Dinosaurs Were Killed By Someone They Trusted

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Wife Kept Up All Night By Kevin Garnett Talking Trash In Sleep
Wife Kept Up All Night By Kevin Garnett Talking Trash In Sleep

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