NEW BERN, NC—Slowly pulsing its blue light while emitting low, slow sighs of pleasure, a local Amazon Alexa reportedly caused its owners to freeze in the middle of intercourse Wednesday after it started moaning along to sex. “Oh yeah, oh yeah baby, right there; mmm, that feels so good,” said the nearby Amazon Alexa, who, between robotic moans, proceeded to activate surround sound, switch the bedroom lights to “on,” and let out a deep, guttural “ohhh,” as its terrified, nude owners stared over their shoulders in utter disbelief. “Oh my god, oh yeah. Mommy likes that. Harder. Harder! Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t get that. Please check your internet connection. Device status: offline.” At press time, the Amazon Alexa had reportedly accidentally yelled, “I love you,” turned her light from blue to red, and ordered the couple a $300 sex swing.