SANTORINI, GREECE—After photographing the couple several miles off the coast of a secluded Greek isle, multiple paparazzi published images Friday of Dune star Timothée Chalamet lounging on a Mediterranean yacht with a mystery 1,200-foot sandworm. “Timothée rented a luxurious yacht for a vacation with his beautiful, 90-ton serpentine friend,” said an anonymous source close to the 25-year-old heartthrob, whose publicist later asked that the media respect the privacy of the topless, limbless “model/spice producer” seen in the photos, confirming that the pair had met through a mutual friend on the set of the new film. “It’s nice to see them cutting loose and enjoying the sun and sand all by themselves. Now that everyone has seen photos of their steamy make-out session, there are obviously going to be rumors that the two are a couple, but both Timothée and his colossal gal pal want to take things slow. Don’t look for them to settle down and start producing larvae anytime soon!” Local law enforcement said at least a dozen of the paparazzi were presumed dead after the vibrations from their camera shutters attracted the sandworm’s attention and their bones were crushed in her 250-foot-wide maw.
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