KOHLER, WI—Upset that the child they raised couldn’t be bothered to weigh all his options, local parents Barbara and Aaron Higbee were disappointed Monday that their child, Aiden, has unquestioningly followed in their Packers’ fandom. “We always taught Aiden to think for himself, but I guess he just wants to follow trends,” said Higbee of his 5-year-old son, noting that the kindergartener wore the Aaron Rodgers jersey he bought him “no questions asked.” “This is what’s wrong with this generation—there’s no independent thinking. Now he’s saying Davante Adams is favorite player, but how many players has he even watched. He’s just blindly following what me and Barb are doing.” At press time, the Higbee family lamented that their child was dressing in nothing but the clothes they bought for him.