GLOUCESTER, MA—Saying it was the least he could do given the amount they’d shelled out over the years, parents of local man Liam Corrigan told reporters Friday that they’d spent too much money on piano lessons for their son not to play a dumb little song every time he comes home. “We dropped close to 10 grand over the course of his childhood for those lessons and we expect to get some return on our investment by having Liam struggle his way through the first few measures of Pachelbel’s Canon while we stand around watching him,” said Ben Corrigan, confirming that he and his wife had only been holding on to their 2007 Steinway piano in order to force their son to play it on vacations. “It just doesn’t feel like Christmas until we can hear Liam atonally plunking out Jingle Bells or Frosty The Snowman till he becomes so frustrated that he leaves and shuts himself in his room.” Corrigan added that at this point he would usually insist on playing round after round of Pictionary with his daughter Melissa who practically bankrupted them by going to art school for four years.