TAMPA, FL—Determining that there needed to be at least three or four other guests before they could consider relocating, early arrivals at a party Thursday told reporters that the event was not nearly big enough to move out of the kitchen just yet. “Only three of us are here so far, and if we went into the living room, we'd be this tiny cluster in a big, empty space," said guest Mariah Collins, adding that the small area between the refrigerator and counter was, for the moment, exactly the right fit. “And even if I wanted to venture out into the living room, there's no guarantee either one of these other people would follow me, and then I'd be kind of awkwardly sitting there myself.” At press time, Collins was reportedly relieved by the sight of a pizza exiting the oven, as it gave her the perfect excuse to remain bound to the kitchen for the time being.


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