DES MOINES, IA—Speaking at a kickoff rally shortly after launching his candidacy, former Vice President Mike Pence told supporters Monday that his decision to run for president came after God convinced him he could get a six-figure speaking deal from it. “I asked the Lord in a moment of prayer whether running for president would guarantee me mid-six-figure speaking gigs for the rest of my life, and He allayed my doubts instantly,” said Pence, who insisted that if the Divine Creator had told him he could only gain $80,000 or $90,000 off every appearance before CPAC, the NRA, or the Club for Growth, he would have struggled to contend with the serious ramifications of the choice. “This is not a decision I made lightly—I know it will not only affect my own speaking fees, but those of my wife and children. Right now, Karen’s only making 40 or 50 grand. My daughter Charlotte is making 10 on her best days. And that’s not even addressing how this could alter my book deals. Thankfully, the power of prayer steered me to the rightness of this choice. Yes, I’ve enriched myself so much from the vice presidency. But God said I’m not done making money.” Pence added that now all he had to do was sacrifice his eldest child atop an altar to secure the Lord’s promises.
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