The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that 1.3 percent of children born in 2017 did not receive any recommended vaccinations compared to 0.3 percent in 2001. What do you think?

“Personally, I like to stay on the safe side and inject my kid with as much shit as possible.”

Ankin Alvarez • Hamster Breeder

“I’m always down for a good culling of the herd.”

Vernon Sims • Patisserie Auditor

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“I don’t hear the kids who’ve survived complaining.”

Phoebe Sanford • Road Salt Expert