Peyton Manning’s Wife Quietly Asks How Much Longer Papa John Going To Crash On Their Couch

INDIANAPOLIS—Frustrated by the heaps of soiled red polo shirts accumulating in her living room, Peyton Manning’s wife quietly asked Friday how much longer disgraced fast-food mogul and pitchman “Papa” John Schnatter would be crashing on their couch. “Honey, I didn’t mind when you said it would be a couple of nights, but it’s been over a week now,” said Ashley Thompson Manning, 44, adding that Schnatter seemed alternately depressed and angry and was perhaps not the best role model for their young children. “I understand that he’s one of your best friends, but I think he needs some professional help. I mean, he hasn’t left the sofa or showered since he got here—he just stares off into space and mumbles about ‘better ingredients.’ And I have to back out around his stupid yellow Camaro every time I want to drive anywhere.” At press time, Mrs. Manning issued the ultimatum that “either [Schnatter] goes or I go” after overhearing one of her children using the N-word.

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