BLOOMINGTON, IN—In a shocking development that came mere minutes into sitting down with the prospective partner at a regional coffee shop, the phrase “footloose and fancy free” made a sudden and confusing return to local woman Tara Waldman’s vocabulary during a first date, sources reported Wednesday. “Oh my God, where the hell did that come from? Footloose and fancy free—I barely even know what that means,” Waldman reportedly thought moments after the baffling phrase escaped her lips in response to the question of what she did for fun. “I actually said the words ‘I keep things footloose and fancy free on the weekends’? What the fuck is that? I was like five sentences into the date, too, so he’s going to think it’s my thing, even though I don’t think I’ve said those words together since I was 8 years old. And why did I do a weird little thing with my hands when I said it? Oh no! I just said it again!” At press time, Waldman confirmed that she would get the date under control by saying something normal about always wanting to do the “ol’ 23 skidoo” from work.
We may earn a commission from links on this page.