Planet Made Of Diamond Discovered

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Using data from NASA’s Spitzer Space Telescope, astronomers have learned that 55 Cancri e, a planet eight times as massive as Earth and just 40 light years away, is composed largely of pure diamond. What do you think?

“We’re so lame. All we have here is a bunch of dumb water and resources.”

Perry Summer • Arboretum Director

“It must be pretty satisfying for astronomers to say whatever crazy shit they can think of knowing that no one will ever be able to check up on it.”

June Shah • Escrow Clerk


“Oh, no. This is going to make my fiancée’s ring look even smaller.”

Paul Lehel • Fuel Oil Delivery Driver