LOS ANGELES—In the wake of a renewed string of nationwide attacks, the Orange County Sheriff’s Department issued a statement Monday announcing they would no longer be responding to active shooter reports in an effort to deprive the killers of attention. “If you happen to be caught in the midst of a mass shooting, try not to react—that’s exactly what these shooters want,” said spokesperson Richard Miller, who was just one of dozens of police department representatives across the country to urge Americans to assist law enforcement by depriving shooters of the notoriety they crave. “Don’t run, don’t hide, and don’t call 911, because we’re not coming. Indulging this behavior is the last thing we want to do. Just avoid eye contact and try to go about your business, and he should tire out on his own eventually.” At press time, Miller was encouraging the media to do their part by ignoring the shootings as well.