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NEW YORK—Admitting that she experiences a small jolt of terror even after all these months, wife of NYPD officer Mark Cady, told reporters Tuesday that she still dreads someday getting a phone call that her husband has been vaccinated. “Obviously, Mark has promised me that he’ll take every precaution to prevent against something like this when he’s out there, but still, whenever the phone rings I can’t help but brace myself to hear a Walgreens recording informing me that his first inoculation has been implemented and he will receive a reminder in two weeks about his second shot,” said Melissa Cady, wiping tears from her eyes at the very thought of seeing her beloved husband lying there experiencing chills, nausea, and other vaccine side effects. “I know I’m being a little silly—in the grand scheme of things, there are so few officers that are inoculated against Covid that I know it’s probably not going to happen—but still, there’s always the possibility that some suspicious, untested vaccine will make its way into his bloodstream. Jesus, if that day ever comes, I just don’t know how I could possibly explain it to our four children.” At press time, Cady had sunk to the floor in despair after receiving word that in the course of investigating a robbery, her husband’s face had been completely covered by an N95 mask.

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