Politicians Explain Why They Oppose Term Limits

Politicians Explain Why They Oppose Term Limits

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While term limits may be popular among young legislators, many older career politicians have bristled at the idea. The Onion asked politicians why they oppose caps on government leadership, and this is what they said.

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Senator Rand Paul (R-KY)

Senator Rand Paul (R-KY)

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“Legislators are proud people who have never known any other work and have been legislating for generations. What else are they supposed to do?”

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Senator Lisa Murkowski (R-AK)

Senator Lisa Murkowski (R-AK)

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“I get paid $174k, and I don’t have to do shit. I’m not giving up this gig anytime soon, and all you fuckers just have to deal.”

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Governor Ron DeSantis (R-FL)

Governor Ron DeSantis (R-FL)

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“Eight years simply isn’t enough time to do all the damage I aspire to do.”

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​Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY)

​Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY)

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“I actually see no problem with a two-lifetime limit.”​

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Senator John Boozman (R-AR)

Senator John Boozman (R-AR)

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“There’s a sharp learning curve, and you don’t want a bunch of amateurs in here. For example, did you know that ‘yea’ means ‘yes’ and ‘nay’ means ‘no’? It’s not as simple as it looks.”

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Senator Rick Scott (R-FL)

Senator Rick Scott (R-FL)

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“I will not respect anyone’s limits.”

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Senator Jon Ossoff (D-GA)

Senator Jon Ossoff (D-GA)

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“An extremely elderly Senate makes me look even younger and hotter.”

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Senator Marco Rubio (R-FL)

Senator Marco Rubio (R-FL)

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“Marco Rubio drives 90 through school zones. He will bring way more than 15 items to the express checkout line. Marco doesn’t care about your safe word—he’s gonna keep choking you until you black out. Limits are for losers, and Marco Rubio is a winner, baby.”

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Senator Marsha Blackburn (R-TN)

Senator Marsha Blackburn (R-TN)

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“I’ve cut all the unemployment benefits I would have received if I lost this job.”

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Senator Kyrsten Sinema (I-AZ)

Senator Kyrsten Sinema (I-AZ)

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“It’s an unpopular position, which is why I take it.”

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Senator Amy Klobuchar (D-MN)

Senator Amy Klobuchar (D-MN)

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“My family sucks, and I don’t want to be forced to go home to them.”

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Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA)

Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA)

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“You don’t want me out of the workforce with nothing but time on my hands.”

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Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL)

Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL)

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“I can’t be out of a job. Who else is gonna hire ol’ Dicky Durbin? The post office? The shop down the street? I ain’t cut out for it! Please, this is all I’ve got. Don’t just take it away!”

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Senator Chuck Grassley (R-IA)

Senator Chuck Grassley (R-IA)

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“I can no longer remember what I did before I became a senator, and I’m too embarrassed to ask at this point.”

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Representative Nancy Pelosi (D-CA)

Representative Nancy Pelosi (D-CA)

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“You need a few terms to really get the hang of insider trading.”

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Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX)

Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX)

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“If voters want to make the same terrible mistake over and over again, who are we to stop them?”

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Senator Susan Collins (R-ME)

Senator Susan Collins (R-ME)

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“I have absolutely zero skills that would translate to any other job. If I worked in a factory, I would be swallowed by a wheat thresher almost immediately.”

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Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton

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“You’re going to totally marginalize the voice of special interest groups.”

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Elsa (Pet Mayor of Fair Haven, Vermont)

Elsa (Pet Mayor of Fair Haven, Vermont)

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“The people of Fair Haven elected a goat mayor as a joke, but once I tasted power, I knew I would never give it up. My totalitarian impulses know no bounds, and my reign will end over my cold dead hooves.”

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Representative Matt Gaetz (R-FL)

Representative Matt Gaetz (R-FL)

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“I’m not too jazzed about any law that restricts things based on years.”

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Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA)

Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA)

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“I’d rather die in the Senate than a nursing home.”

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