PoliticsNews In BriefPoliticsNews In BriefPolitician Still Gets Little Rush Every Time He Pretends To Be Like Poor PersonWASHINGTON—Quivering with excitement at the mere thought of acting as though he lived paycheck to paycheck, local…
PoliticsNews In BriefPoliticsNews In BriefTrump Urges Dr. Oz To Declare Victory Against Biden In 2020 ElectionPALM BEACH, FL—In a series of posts shared to social media platform Truth Social, Donald Trump reportedly urged Dr.…
PoliticsNews In BriefPoliticsNews In BriefBiden Touts Resiliency Of American Decline While Touring Factory That’s Been Closed For DecadesSAGINAW, MI—Gesturing grandly toward the dust-covered assembly line as he declared that nothing, absolutely nothing,…
PoliticsNews In BriefPoliticsNews In BriefCongress Placed On Lockdown After Deranged Man Enters Senate With Gun Control MeasuresWASHINGTON—Sending members of Congress ducking under their seats and covering their ears, the U.S. Capitol building…
PoliticsNews In BriefPoliticsNews In BriefBombshell Report Finds Democrats Conspiring With Bookie To Deliberately Throw MidtermsWASHINGTON—In a shocking revelation that alleged the party would receive money in exchange for taking a dive, a…
PoliticsNews In BriefPoliticsNews In BriefBiden Tries To Boost Approval Ratings By Showing A Little AnkleWASHINGTON—In a new strategy developed by top White House advisors and Democratic consultants, President Joe Biden…
PoliticsNews In BriefPoliticsNews In BriefOhio Law Mandates Rape Victims Send Thank You Notes For Gift Of ParenthoodCOLUMBUS, OH—Eliciting both outrage and acclaim from each side of the political aisle, Ohio Gov. Mike DeWine (R) sign…
PoliticsNews In BriefPoliticsNews In BriefCongress Passes $33 Billion Bill To Send War-Torn Ukraine Free Community CollegeWASHINGTON—In response to continued Russian aggression in Eastern Europe, Congress unanimously passed a $33 billion…
PoliticsNews In BriefPoliticsNews In BriefNew Tennessee Law Requires Women To Wait 24 Hours Before Getting A BurgerNASHVILLE, TN—Joining a growing number of states imposing waiting period restrictions, Tennessee passed a new law…
PoliticsNews In BriefPoliticsNews In BriefDianne Feinstein Argues She Still Perfectly Mentally Fit To Continue Captaining SubmarineWASHINGTON—Defending her performance against recent reports of cognitive decline, senior United States senator…
PoliticsNews In BriefPoliticsNews In Brief‘I’ll Tell You When I’ve Had Enough,’ Says Pete Buttigieg, Blowing Off Steam With Another Round Through Car WashWASHINGTON—Unwinding after a particularly stressful day as U.S. Transportation Secretary, Pete Buttigieg was…
PoliticsNews In BriefPoliticsNews In BriefPundits Warn Midterms Could Spell Doom For Democrats After Beto O’Rourke Announces Candidacy In Every Race In CountryWASHINGTON—Calling a catastrophic midterm outcome “all but certain” for Democrats, political pundits were sounding…
PoliticsNews In BriefPoliticsNews In BriefButtigieg Brushes Up On Honking For Upcoming Talks With Nation’s Big RigsWASHINGTON—His lips flaring as he forced the loud blasts out of his lungs, Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg…
PoliticsNews In BriefPoliticsNews In BriefHillary Clinton Receives $225,000 Speaking Fee For Telling Grandson Bedtime StoryNEW YORK—According to tax filings obtained from the Clinton Foundation, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton…
PoliticsNews In BriefPoliticsNews In BriefWhite House Press Secretary Asks Reporter Chanting ‘Kill, Kill, Kill’ If He Has An Actual QuestionWASHINGTON—After letting out a sigh of apparent exasperation, outgoing White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki took a…
PoliticsNews In BriefPoliticsNews In BriefMasked, Visibly Erect Republicans Condemn Cawthorn’s Cocaine Orgy Claims As Patently FalseWASHINGTON—In a strong rebuke of the congressman’s claims that government officials invited him to orgies and…
PoliticsNews In BriefPoliticsNews In Brief‘This City. These People. All Sheep, And I Am Their Shepherd,’ Says Eric Adams, Looking Out Over New YorkNEW YORK—Clasping his hands behind his back and looking out over Manhattan’s iconic skyline, New York mayor Eric…
PoliticsNews In BriefPoliticsNews In BriefBiden Cuts NATO Summit Short To Squeeze In Chocolate Tour Of BrusselsBRUSSELS—Speaking at an uncharacteristically rapid pace to move the meeting along more quickly, President Joe Biden…
PoliticsNews In BriefPoliticsNews In BriefU.S. Announces It Will Allow Ukrainian Refugees After Deporting 100,000 Central Americans Seeking AsylumWASHINGTON—In the face of international criticism over not accepting enough people fleeing the war-torn nation, U.S.…
PoliticsNews In BriefPoliticsNews In BriefSenate Republicans Attack Ketanji Brown Jackson’s Lack Of Experience On U.S. Supreme CourtWASHINGTON—Arguing that the glaring gap in her record raised serious questions about her fitness for the role,…