Recently Opened Empire State Building ‘Giant-Ape Proof,’ Say Architects
President Calls for Calm Following Nipple Sighting on Farrah Fawcett Poster
Americans Outraged By South Africa’s Race-Divided Economic System
President Wilson Calls For Creation Of Useless World Governing Body
Hoover Hopes to Restore Faith in Nation’s Banks with Free-Toaster Offer
Schoolteacher, Kitten, Three Dozen Orphans to Fly on Challenger Tomorrow
Betty Grable Appointed Head of U.S. Army Special Masturbation Fantasy Squad
