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America's Finest News Source.

Pope Chides ‘Selfish’ Couples Who Choose Pets Over Children

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Stating that it “takes away our humanity,” Pope Francis made comments criticizing the selfishness of couples who choose to have dogs and cats instead of children. What do you think?

“All right, but children are terrible mousers.”

Jonah Venhaus • Goose Plucker

“Take that, everyone who tells me I’m not fit to be a mother!”

Vivian Serrano • Tabloid Archivist

“I knew my neighbor’s bulldog was an abomination against God.”

Darin Pearlman Shoplifter Sniper