VATICAN CITY—Acting swiftly and quietly in hopes of avoiding a PR nightmare, Pope Francis reportedly transferred God, Our Lord And Heavenly Father, to a different universe Friday after He was caught molesting an altar boy. “You’re obviously a hugely valuable member of our organization, but we think given recent events it would be best for you to spend some time a few billion light years out of the spotlight,” Pope Francis reportedly told The Creator Of All Things in a private meeting, recommending that the deity use His time in the desolate reaches of a farflung dimension to say His devotionals and contemplate the scripture. “I know it’ll be a change of pace from the hubbub of the entirety of creation that you’re used to, but it’ll be a chance for some rest and quiet until all the creatures in known existence calm down a bit. At that stage, we should be able to promote you to a high ranking position in the Vatican without a problem.” At press time, Pope Francis had reportedly been forced to relocate God again after several beings of incomprehensible aspect accused Him of inappropriate touching.