Potential Candidates For Biden’s Cabinet

Illustration for article titled Potential Candidates For Biden’s Cabinet

If elected president, Joe Biden can nominate up to 15 cabinet members to advise him on executive departments. The Onion looks at the most rumored choices for Biden’s inner circle.


Pete Buttigieg

With his military background, an obvious choice to be Biden’s Mayor of Defense

Eric Swalwell

Already demonstrated loyalty to Biden by running a terrible campaign against him for president

Hunter Biden

Last job fell through

Elizabeth Warren

In the running for several positions unless someone from the private sector is interested

Michele Flournoy

There’s simply no Defense Secretary candidate with more experience bombing Libya

Eric Garcetti

While homelessness and inequality have soared during his tenure as mayor of Los Angeles, serving as Transportation Secretary would allow him to fail on a much grander scale


Jill Biden

Widely regarded by insiders to be the frontrunner for First Lady

John Kasich

The perfect vehicle for fulfilling Biden’s top priority of rejuvenating the Republican Party


Betsy DeVos

Look, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it


That’s right, one random citizen will be chosen to be Secretary of State, and it could be you!