Potential Candidates For Biden’s Cabinet

Illustration for article titled Potential Candidates For Biden’s Cabinet

If elected president, Joe Biden can nominate up to 15 cabinet members to advise him on executive departments. The Onion looks at the most rumored choices for Biden’s inner circle.

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Pete Buttigieg

With his military background, an obvious choice to be Biden’s Mayor of Defense


Eric Swalwell

Already demonstrated loyalty to Biden by running a terrible campaign against him for president

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Hunter Biden

Last job fell through


Elizabeth Warren

In the running for several positions unless someone from the private sector is interested

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Michele Flournoy

There’s simply no Defense Secretary candidate with more experience bombing Libya


Eric Garcetti

While homelessness and inequality have soared during his tenure as mayor of Los Angeles, serving as Transportation Secretary would allow him to fail on a much grander scale

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Jill Biden

Widely regarded by insiders to be the frontrunner for First Lady


John Kasich

The perfect vehicle for fulfilling Biden’s top priority of rejuvenating the Republican Party

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Betsy DeVos

Look, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it


You

That’s right, one random citizen will be chosen to be Secretary of State, and it could be you!

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